Being a Parent

You may wonder why I am writing about being a parent. I will tell you why, recently I say a news article showing a woman with several children, and she made the statement " someone has to be responsible for these children". Of course as a mother , I thought " they are YOUR children,therefore
YOUR responsibility". I am not hard hearted, the woman obviously needed help, BUT she needed HELP, NOT for someone else to be responsible for her children.

Being a parent is the single most important responsibility a person can have.

Think about it, a new baby has the most incredible "computer" inside it's little head ready to be programmed.

What we put into that little "computer" or brain will determine to a large extent what that baby will grow up to be as an adult. Big responsibility huh?!!

As I have said before I don't think a baby is ever "too young" to start learning. The first thing they should learn is love. They learn that by the way we talk to them ( the tone of voice we use), how hold them, feed them, bath them and take care of them.

I always say think of how you want to be treated if you were basically helpless and had to depend on someone to take care of you, because that's what a new born is.

Children have an inborn need to learn. They need guidelines, direction, and boundries. And they learn these things by being taught by word and example.

We advance our teaching as they grow, first we teach them the basics of how to feed themselves, how to talk, walk etc. As they grow we teach them manners, morals and resoponsibilities.

If you are a young person and think you would like to have a baby. before you let yourself get pregnant really think about the responsibility a baby is, because as the parent it is YOUR responsibility and a long term commitment.

If you are really young, say a teen, take the time to enjoy your time as a teen and young adult and when you feel you are ready to "sacrifice" things you want to do in exchange for the full time job  and joy of being a parent. Only when you are ready to make a long term commitment should you think about having a baby.

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding but sometimes difficult endeavors you will ever under take.

Because it is such an impportant responsibility, be sure you are ready to be a parent and commit to that vocation.

Manners in a minute !

The other day A young woman and I were waiting at an elevator for the door to open, when the door opened she said to someone behind me " hurry it's here". All of a sudden a little boy probably about 4 years came running right in front of me ( cutting me off ). The mother scolded the boy and "said you could have made that lady fall, tell her you are sorry", which he did.

I thanked him for his nice manners and said " you are very lucky that your mommy is teaching you nice manners. He looked shy but the mother beamed with pride.

My point in telling you this is that it only takes a minute to teach a child manners, all you have to do is take advantage of an opportunity, and use it as a teaching time, that way you are not "harping" at them but they learn.

Another example might be if you are having a meal together as a family whether at home or in a restaurant and your child/children are on their cell, texting or playing a game, it is a good time to ask them to wait until you have all finished your meal, explaining that you would like meal time to be a "family" time. You could even make it a rule that there be no electronic devices at the table when it's meal time, ( very few things are so important that they can't wait until after a meal).

Good manners may not " change the world" but it sure makes it a more pleasant place to live.
And remember the younger you start to teach them the more it will become part of their way of life.

The Media

I am a mother, grandmother and an old lady, yet I don't think in most ways I am " old fashioned ".

However I do like  the " old fashioned "morals and family lifestyle"we once enjoyed in this country.

For example I am grateful for the Media we have,  but like my mother always said " there's a little bit of bad in the best of us and a little bit of good in the worst of us .

I think the Media has shown us the Worst" in it since the 1960s and 1970s.
Why ? because it has been most influential in eroding our moral and family life, by introducing the ideas that smoking is "cool" and alcohol makes life more fun and drugs, well " getting high is the best".
They have suggested that it is OK to have a baby if you are not married , and if you are married , being faithful to your mate is boring.
Not to mention that it is OK to take what you want that belongs to someone else. And if you don't like what someone looks like or what they do, just kill them !

As a result we have a society who feel "entitled " to what ever they want regardless if it's right or wrong.

Is it too late to turn things around ? I hope not, but again as I always say we have to teach our children when they are young and set an example for them to follow.

Being a parent is the most important responsibility there is and if we don't take that responsibility seriously and teach our children , then we are failing as parents and contributing to the decay of our society.

History has proven that it is the break down of morals and family life that has caused the destruction of great nations.

I wish the Media would turn around and use it's influence to encourage more family togetherness and better morals because those are the foundation of a strong nation.

But ultimately it is our responsibility as parents, grandparents and family members to teach our children.

Where have you been ?

 Many have ask
Where have you been ?

Well I have had a very busy summer. It started with Grandpappy Happy having a total knee replacement, which was successful but then we thought he had an infection in that leg so the doctor put him back in the hospital for observation and thankfully after a week they decided he was fine.
We came home from the hospital and he was recovering very well with "NURSE Grandma Joy"
taking care of him. But then in July he had terrible stomach pains and once again he lands in the hospital this time with a gallbladder problem and had to have that removed.
He was back home and recovering well again with the same " Nurse", when we got a call from grandson John who had to go into surgery to repair an old elbow injury.
About a year and a half ago he was riding his bicycle when the wheel hit something in the road and threw him off the bike right onto his elbow and shattered it.
The Doctor was very pleased that he put the elbow back together with screws and plates.
But then about a month or so ago he started having lots of pain in that elbow so he went to the surgeon to have it checked and the doctor said all of the " hardware" in his elbow had come loose and was literally floating around in his arm. Needless to say he had to have a lengthy surgery to try to repair it. And of course Grandma Joy and Grandpappy felt they needed/wanted to be there as moral support, so we made a trip to where he lives.
 The doctor said he thinks there is an infection in the arm so he is home receiving intravenous antibiotics for a couple of weeks, then they will address how to repair the elbow again.
So you can see I have been busy.
In the meantime , I was able to do some of the drawings for more of my coloring books, and I am happy to say I only have seven more states to finish the art work for, and then all 50 states will be ready to compile and go to print. I am hoping by the end of the year they will all be ready for print.
Thank you all for your patience and continued support.
Be kind to each other.

Self Esteem

I read an article about a high school graduating student who was ask what problems she felt were facing young adults today, and she answered that she believes the key issue is the personal battle of SELF ESTEEM.

" Esteem" ( a favorable opinion or judgement or respect). So that means young people coming out of high school do not have a favorable opinion of themselves, Why ?

I do not think this happened " overnight ", I think it is the environment we live in today and the way they were raised.

In my opinion, to change the environment we have to do it one person at a time.

I don't remember ever having a problem with low self esteem and I believe it is because my mother taught me from a little girl that I am as "good" as anyone BUT not "better" than anyone. I might have a talent for one thing but I can't do what another person can do.

For example is a doctor better than a farmer ? I don't think so because the doctor my be able to save your life in some cases, but if the farmer did not grow food for you to eat you would die. So one is as important as the other.

I believe we need to instill in our children the belief that they can do
 " anything" if they want to badly enough and work to accomplish whatever it is they want to do.

I often tell the true story of when I was a little girl about 9 years old I became very sick, doctors did not have all the knowledge they do now so it took several doctors some time before they diagnosed my problem.

By the time they decided that I had Rheumatic Fever, the rheumatism in my knees was so bad I could not stand and had lost so much weight I almost looked like a skeleton. When they admitted me into the hospital
( which turned out to be a years stay), I overheard the doctor tell my mother they were not sure they could save me, and if they did I would probably never walk again. I remember thinking to myself " Oh yes I will walk again".

After a years stay in the hospital I was transferred to a Convalescent Home for about six months. It was there that I thought I might be strong  enough to make myself walk again.
I would sit up on the side of my bed at night after everyone else was asleep. Eventually I would just stand beside the bed, then gradually I would take one step at a time, holding onto the bed until I could finally walk. It took what seemed like a long time of doing this every night but I finally was able to let go of the bed and walk on my own.

You can imagine the amazement when I showed the doctors, nurses and my mother that I could walk, it was like a miracle to them. But I will always  believe, along with the good medical care I got , it was me believing I could do it and the hard work I put into it.

From then on I have believed that  a person can do anything if they set a goal and work hard toward it

I don't like arrogance and I think there is a thin line between arrogance and self confidence. It is self confidence that we want to give our children.


Once again, I think we should start teaching them when they are very small. Ask them something they would like to do and if they don't know how to do it, show them, but don't do it for them, let them do it themselves and once they learn they could do that then let them try something else.
This will teach them self confidence and with self confidence comes self esteem.

Let's start NOW and help build self esteem in our young ones.

Kids Allowance

For the last couple of weeks I have been talking about money and making change.

This thought process made me start thinking the many things we have been teaching( or not ) our kids, like responsibility.

For example who or what gave parents the idea that they should give a child money (allowance) for doing chores around their home ?

Think about it, as a mother and/or wife do you get an allowance for all the things you do in and around the house ?
When you clean house, cook, do laundry and do all the other things you do to keep your home nice, do you get an allowance ? Probably not, that's what responsibility is.

When your husband mows the lawn, blows the leaves, or helps with chores around the house does he get an allowance ? Again that is part of the responsibility of being part of the family.

When I was a kid, I was expected to be part of the family and share in some of the chores (without pay), that was just  being a part of the family, you learned to share some of the responsibility.

To make money we would ask the neighbors if they had some job we could do to make some money.
We would ask to mow their lawn or help with whatever chores that needed to be done.

We learned to share the responsibility around own  home and if we wanted something extra we had to work for it.

We have been teaching kids " entitlement" instead of responsibility, and then we wonder why they are the way they are.

I have watched the decline of, or lack of teaching responsibility, commitment, accountability, loyalty and morality for at least the last couple of generations and I shudder to think what our world will be like if we as parents and adults don't start to turn things around and do it NOW!

One last thing, we complain about the "kids" but guess what it is not the kids that are the problem it's we adults and parents that are the problem.

Lets take our responsibility and teach and guide our young ones before its too late.

Arithmetic and making change

Last time we visited I gave the experience of a twenty-something young man working at a check out register who had a very difficult time making the change the register said was due the customer.

I said we could teach our children to count money and make change
 by playing " store" with them.
Someone ask me how to do that.

My suggestion is this:
Get a few things together that your child likes, and put a price on each one. Keep it simple, let's say nothing over $10:00.
Of course you will need $ 10:00 in change to play the game . I would suggest  1-Five dollar bill, 4- one dollar bills and one dollar in change, 2 quarters, 3 dimes, 3 nickles and 5 pennies.

Let your child choose the item/items they want ot buy, give the child a $ 10:00 bill and let them make the change, counting it back to you.
This will teach them how to count money and make change.

Another thing it will teach them is if they want more things than they have money for they can't have what ever it is until they save enough money for it.
They will learn they can't have everything they want if they can't afford it.
Do NOT give them the idea of a credit card, let them learn to save for what they want.

If you start young enough with this it will be a natural thing and not a burden.